It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
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