I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
