My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
