Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
