Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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