let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Holy sore nipples Batman
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
