i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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