Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
