she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
