Me. At least after what I've been through.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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