I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
