adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
