If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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