i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
