I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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