just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
