I can't watch pbs sober anymore
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
