some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
