Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
