last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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