batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
