the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
