Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Naked. naked and bneed help.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
