Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
