Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
