this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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