When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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