I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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