Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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