she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
