We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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