tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
