even my farts smell like vagina
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
