It's like God shit irony all over that family
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
