new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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