maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
