Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
