they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
