i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
