On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
