i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
