By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
