I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
