She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
