Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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