he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
oh god was she eating orange peels again
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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