Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
