i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
