Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Sacagawea was the original milf.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
