My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
bring money and cleavage
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
