I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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