Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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